


Something I Can Do To Make You Love Me Again.

by goldistic



Series: The Bodyguard AU [2]
Category: Elite (TV)
Genre: F/M, part two of the bodyguard au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-08
Updated: 2019-10-08
Packaged: 2020-11-27 23:49:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20956964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldistic/pseuds/goldistic
Summary: It’s been five years since Nadia has seen Guzman, a lot had changed for both of them. But, when you love someone so deeply, the time away doesn’t matter, right?





	Something I Can Do To Make You Love Me Again.

**Author's Note:**

> Hii, part two of the Bodyguard is here. Thank you all so much for the way you reacted to the first part, this is a lil sad but don't worry!! Massive thanks to Ami for doing the usual. HMU @guznad on twitter, where I will be chatting shit.

  
  


_ Nadia _ is maybe ninety-eight per cent sure what she was about to do was the right thing, she’d been sitting on making a final decision for about eight weeks now and with the re-elections coming up Nadia settled on the idea that it was right to take herself off the race for Prime Minister. Nadia wasn’t sure what she could offer her country more but she knew she gave it everything she could, she didn’t want to go down in history as a Prime Minister who didn’t know when to quit. So after lengthy conversations with Lu, Omar, her father and her party she decided it was time to bow out. 

She stood with her back against the office door where she sat for four years, lost in memories of a time she willed herself to forget. Nadia knew deep down why she was reluctant to leave the room, she knew the memories that were hidden there but it was time. She couldn't keep holding onto memories and a love that she no longer had to call her’s, she was looking at the window thinking about how Guzman stood there with his back straight and eyes only on her. 

_ “You literally have to stop staring at me” Nadia smiled down at the iPad that was placed on her desk, she needed to read through this document but she can’t stop thinking about his eyes on hers.  _

_ “I don’t know what you’re talking about” Nadia didn’t need to look at him to know he was wearing a smirk, she wishes at that moment that they could be a real couple and she could walk up to him and kiss him silly but that’s not who they were, so she looked up and raised an eyebrow at him. “I’ll keep my eyes to myself, but you have to stop being so beautiful.” _

It was a line that made her blush back then as much as it was currently doing right now, she knew she shouldn’t be thinking about him because it took so long for her to get over him and move on with her life. But they had spent so much time in those four walls and Nadia would never admit it to anyone else but her heart that they were some of the best memories she'd ever made. Even now, five years after he’d gone she wishes him nothing but love and happiness, she hopes that wherever Guzman was he was being loved the way she wished she could have given him. 

There was a light knock on the door behind her, pulling Nadia out of her thoughts as she opened it to reveal Lu standing there with an understanding look on her face. After Guzman left, Nadia sat Lu down and told her everything she could, when the tears had subsided and the ice cream had been eaten; Lu apologised for not being a better friend and not knowing just how much Nadia cared for the man. Nadia waved away her apologies, telling her that there was no way she could have known. 

“Are you ready?” Lu inquired. 

Nadia took a deep breath in, “As I’ll ever be, is Omar ready?” 

“He is, he’s waiting at the main door with Ander” Lu pulled open the door, Nadia turned back to once more to look in the room; she swears she could hear Guzman’s faint laughter as they messed around, tears filled her eyes for a brief moment. Calming herself down, she raised her head and squared her shoulders. She was ninety-eight per cent sure she was making the right decision but she also knew she had to move on with her life there was no way she could carry around memories of a love lost. She had bigger things to do than think about a man who didn’t choose them. 

“Let's go then” 

  
  


_ Guzman  _ was sitting in a restaurant with his work colleagues when the news flashed up on the TV, “We’re sorry to interrupt your viewing but there is an important message coming from the Prime Minister of Spain right this minute” Guzman was pretty sure he was holding his breath until the moment Nadia walked out to the podium, he was quick to notice that Omar, Ander and Lu were all standing beside her. Guzman thought it must be a pretty big announcement if Nadia made the decision to interrupt the normal day to day business, he quickly scans the bar to realise that everyone was paying attention, Guzman also wondered if her speech was to announce that she was going to run for Prime Minister again. 

“Good morning” Nadia’s voice is the same as always when Guzman watches her on television, strong and never wavering, Guzman couldn't help but feel pride every time she was on. “I know there have been many speculations on if I am going to run for Prime Minister again for a second term, but after many talks with my family and my party I have decided that it is not something that I want to do”

Guzman felt his eyebrows come close together, he was certain Nadia would run for a second term as Prime Minister. He was talking to Ander about it the other day, he even said that he was sure she would run for it again. 

“I know this may come as a shock to you all” Nadia continued over the chatter of the press that was outside the house of the Prime Minister, “It came as not more of a shock to me than it did to all of you, I promise”

She paused and looked down at the camera lens, Guzman let himself believe that it was him she was looking at. How fucking stupid of him. 

“But I think you will all agree with me” Nadia smiled a little bit, she moved her hand up to tightened her red hijab around her head “That I did more than I thought I would ever do, I got to bring a new way of thinking into Spanish politics and I am by no way saying I got it right every time because I didn’t.”

Nadia paused again, Guzman knew she was getting emotional; even after all these years, he was still able to read her so well. Even if they were miles apart. 

“It has been wonderful to serve my country” Nadia started up again, she cocked her head to the side as she looked to the people in her party and back to where her family were standing, it took this long to realise that Nadia had her father up on stage with her. Guzman hoped to whatever God there was up there, that they were both at peace with each other. “I have had many experiences in Office, many I will not go into detail about.” There was a slight ripple of laughter in the restaurant, Guzman physically stops himself from wondering if it is him she was talking about. “To the Spanish people, I wish you nothing but love and hope and blessings, to the people in my party, I will be here supporting you whenever you need it. Thank you all for allowing me to become Prime Minister, you made my dreams come true but now I must go and live my life, with my friends, family and fiancee. Thank you again.” 

** _Fiancee_ ** Guzman sat frozen, surely he misheard her but his phone is pinning with the news updates and Ander is texting telling him he’s sorry he didn’t warn Guzman but he didn’t know. 

_ Fiancee _ Guzman thought again, looking at the screen as the love of his life walked away behind closed doors, he really did lose her.

  
  
  


Guzman has been in a daze since Nadia had made her announcement, he hadn’t been listening to anything his friends had said; he couldn’t get Nadia’s words from circling his brain. How had she grown so much in five years and found someone she loved enough to want to marry? Guzman knew fine well that anyone who Nadia chose would be worth it, she never did anything by half, which is always why he felt such pride when she chose him because it meant he was maybe good for someone. Guzman felt a flick on his left ear, he looked over to his curly-haired friend.

“We lost you there, Guzman?” Valerio let out a chuckle bringing Guzman back to the table. Guzman looked at him with confusion written all over his face. 

“What?”

“You disappeared for a hot minute” Valerio pulled his chair towards Guzman so he could speak to him more privately, “Are you okay?”

At that moment, Guzman is thankful for Valerio, the pair had bonded when they started working together about three years ago; they bonded over their love for sports and it had been them two for a long time. Guzman was pretty sure Valerio was his best friend at the moment, even if Guzman never liked to label people as such, but Valerio got Guzman through the difficult time after Nadia; even if he never knew about her, Guzman knew he would forever be in debt to the older man. 

“I’m okay” He nodded, Guzman was trying to work out what he was feeling. He’s pretty sure his heart is breaking again at the thought of not having Nadia by his side. He hadn’t thought about her in such a long time, he was not quite sure what to do with all the emotion that had built up in him. He just wanted a quiet lunch with his work friends.

“You don’t look okay” Valerio was observing him carefully, he knew Guzman had a tendency to jump the gun with what he was feeling; quick to brush it off and not work through it. “You look like you’ve just seen a ghost”

“Something like that” Guzman muttered, Valerio leant forward to hear him better.

“Say again?”

“I think I feel a sick” Guzman pats his stomach.

“Do you want some water?” Valerio was going into protective mode, Guzman had to shut him down before he got overwhelmed. 

“No, no,” Guzman shook his head “It’s okay, it’s passing”

“Are you sure?” Valerio raised an eyebrow, concern written all over his face; it made Guzman feel guilty for making his friend worried. 

“I promise” Guzman reassured, placing his hand on Valerio’s shoulder “I’m okay.”

Valerio checked him out for a second, he nodded slightly to himself as he didn’t really believe what Guzman said but he knew not to push, his younger friend was careful when it came to his emotions, Valerio is sure if he hadn't of persisted when they first met; he would never have gotten to know him.

“Oh, I forgot to ask you” Guzman looked at his friend, he had excitement written all over his friends face “My fiance was wondering if you wanted to come around to have dinner? She’s been dying to meet you and her work has finally settled down so she has time to do everything.”

Guzman doesn’t even question before he agrees, “Absolutely, when and what time?”

Valerio takes his phone out, “Is Friday good for you?” 

“Friday is great, time?”

“Get there for about seven? Valerio asked his friend who was nodding, his smile grew as he realised Guzman was going to attend “You’re not going to ditch?” 

“No,” Guzman sighed, he knows he’s given himself a reputation for not showing up when he said he was but he’s trying to be better. “I have nothing on,”

“Good!” Valerio said, he brought Guzman in for a hug, “Now let's get back to work” 

As Guzman walks back to the office block with Valerio, he can’t stop thinking about Nadia’s announcement, the fact that she decided not to run for Prime Minister is huge but Guzman remembers the conversations they used to have when the sun was low and it was just them. 

_ “Will you run for Prime Minister again?” Guzman asks, Nadia was wrapped up in his arms as they stood in the gardens of the Palace of Moncloa they stood there under the setting sun. _

_ “I dunno” Nadia paused, Guzman looked down at her as she scrunched her nose up; he’s pretty sure she’s the most beautiful woman ever. “If I got everything done that I wanted to, then maybe not, I think I would like to know when to bow out” _

_ Guzman rests his head against Nadia’s shoulder, they’re quiet for a moment.  _

_ “What would you do?” _

_ “Guzman,” Nadia sighed, she turned in his arms “I need to keep some cards to my chest, I can’t have you knowing everything about me” _

_ Guzman raised his eyebrows “You don’t want me to know everything about you?” Guzman could hear how offended he sounded. _

_ Nadia holds his face in her hands “Guzman, it’s not that I don’t want you to know about me. It’s that if I tell you everything about me and this ends up not working out for us both, you’ll know everything about me and that makes me nervous. I have been burned so many times in the past, I just wanna keep somethings with me if that’s okay”  _

_ Guzman thinks for a moment, he knows he has to respect her wishes; he nods and kisses her lips quickly.  _

_ “Is that why you won’t tell me about your mom and dad?” Guzman is prodding cautiously, Nadia tenses up a little bit in his arms.  _

_ “That is a whole different kettle of fish,” Nadia said, she pulled away from him; Guzman feels a little bit colder without her in his arms. “But to answer your previous question, I would only not run for Prime Minister if I thought I had more to give. If I’ve given everything that I could, well then that’s all I can do”  _

Despite everything that Guzman had learnt today about Nadia, he couldn’t help but feel that sense of pride. She did it, she did everything she wanted to do and more; Guzman was certain he’d never felt pride for someone else like it before. 

  
  


_ When  _ Friday rolled up, Guzman found himself outside the gates of the address that Valerio had given him the day before. Armed with a bottle of red wine and some nerves, Guzman presses the button to let Valerio know that he’s here. The gates open up to a house that Guzman is pretty sure could fit his several times over, he makes his way up the driveway to see Valerio leaning against the door. 

“Guzman, my friend” He leans in and kisses his friend on the cheek, “I was so sure you were going to cancel” 

Guzman rolls his eyes as he followed Valerio into the house, “I told you I would be here, no?”

“You’ve said you would be many places you haven’t been, Guzman” Valerio fired back quickly a smile never leaving his face. 

“You miss a few nights out and all of a sudden you’re the person who ditches” Guzman laughs, pulling off his coat; he hands Valerio the wine he brought. His friend admires his choice, Guzman looks around trying to find Valerio’s fiance that he still hasn’t met.

“Where’s your partner?” Guzman asks cautiously, he fought the urge to smirk as he said: “You didn’t make her up, did you?”

Valerio tutted, “No, follow me”

Guzman follows his taller friend, making their way down glass corridors. Guzman is trying to figure out who Valerio decided to marry, he finds it a little odd that they’ve been friends for so long and Guzman had never met the person his best friend wants to marry. As he turns the corner he listens to Valerio greet whoever was in the room. He felt his smile grew as he got ready to meet them. 

However, no amounts of smiles could prepare Guzman for who he saw stood at the kitchen island. Guzman was positive there was no amount of smiles that could have prepared for him to see Nadia standing there. He was glad he handed the bottle of wine to Valerio because he’s sure he would have smashed it on the floor with the shock of seeing the woman he loved for so many years standing not a meter away from him again. 

Nadia is watching him with a shocked expression written all over her face, Guzman knows she’s just as unprepared as he is. Neither knew what to do with themselves, Valerio was busy getting wine glasses out to pour the wine that Guzman had brought. It wasn’t until he turned around and realised there was silence in the room, he looked over to his friend. 

“Guzman?” 

Guzman tore his gaze away from Nadia to look at him, he felt confusion ripple through his body. He licks his lips before he answers him, trying to buy himself some time. 

“Yeah?” 

“Are you okay?” Valerio walked towards him, Guzman quickly looked over to Nadia who had yet to say a word to him; she was looking at him like she used to every time she didn’t want him to say anything stupid. 

“I’m just in shock” Guzman breathed, walking further into the room. “You never told me you were dating the Prime Minister” 

Valerio chuckled, he looked back other to Nadia who had now moved out from behind the counter to where Valerio was standing; she wrapped her body around his arm. Guzman’s heart shatters that little bit further. 

“Well” Valerio looked down at Nadia, a small soft smile on his face, “It’s not something we could advertise” 

Guzman nodded along with what he was saying, “Yes, yes of course” 

“Val” Nadia’s voice interrupted whatever Guzman’s comment, “Aren’t you going to introduce me to your friend?” 

There’s a ringing in Guzman’s ears after that, he was having an out of body experience, he was convinced. He was sure he was watching this exchange from up above, he looked on as Nadia introduces herself to Guzman as if he didn’t know every inch of her. He was certain he was being punked, he does a quick scan of the room to see if any cameras are making their way out. Nadia has her hand out for him to shake, the room has grown awkward because Guzman didn’t know she’d done that and now they’re both looking at him oddly. 

“I’m Guzman” He choked out, his sweaty palms meeting Nadia’s. 

“Nice to meet you” She squeezes his hand and quickly rubs her thumb over his, it’s a familiar movement that used to bring Guzman such comfort when he was worried now felt like a cheap move on Nadia’s half. Guzman pulled his hand away from her quickly causing Nadia to look at him in confusion. 

“Can I please use your bathroom?” Guzman asks, he can’t quite catch his breath. Valerio is looking at him funny again before telling him where it was, Guzman makes a quick exit, heart racing as he locks the bathroom door and leaning his back against it. He really can’t figure out why he’s reacting in such a way, he knows they’ve not been together for five years but he had let himself believe that when her term came up and no matter what she decided to do he would see if they could rekindle whatever they had. Maybe a young lovers daydream. 

Guzman feels stupid as he tries to remember how to slow his breathing down, he can't stop thinking about a time when things seemed less complicated and all he wanted to do was kiss the woman he loved before he even knew what love was. 

_ “Let me kiss you please,” Guzman said as Nadia giggled, she pushes him off her. _

_ “Guzman I’ve got to work” Nadia put her hand over his mouth, if she thought that was going to stop him from kissing her, she’s got another thing coming. He places soft little kisses against her hand, his tongue coming out to lick it. “That’s disgusting!” _

_ “It’s the best I can do since you won’t let me kiss you” Guzman whined, he literally whined because the woman who had overtaken his senses wouldn’t let him kiss her “When was the last time we kissed?” _

_ “Literally two minutes ago when you pushed me into the room” Nadia looked up at him, he was wearing her favourite shirt to work today. She played with the collar as they talked, thinking about how all she wanted was to kiss him as well but she wasn’t going to tell him that.  _

_ “That’s two minutes too long” Guzman complained, Nadia stood up making Guzman straighten; they looked at each other wondering who was going to break first. Nadia is a strong woman, she can wait for however long she wants. But Guzman knows her weaknesses, so when his tongue peeks out to wet his lips, she let out a whine of her own before kissing him. Guzman smiles into the kiss, he’s sure this is heaven.  _

  
  


Guzman splashes water onto his face as he walks out to see the couple, they’re stood with their heads together talking quietly. Guzman clears his throat, Nadia pulls herself away from Val. She’s not sure why she feels like she’s betraying someone, which she knows is stupid because she hasn’t seen Guzman in years and now here he was stood in her kitchen and all she could think about was how her heart wanted to go over to him to hold him. 

“Are you okay?” She asks him softly, she can see Valerio look at his friend closely who hadn’t taken his eyes off Nadia. She knows Val is getting protective because of how much Guzman was staring, Nadia doesn’t have the heart to tell him that nobody protected her as well as Guzman did in the first year of her run as Prime Minister. 

“Yeah sorry” Guzman apologised, he looks so nervous Nadia observed. This was a mess. 

“It’s okay,” She answered walking slightly towards him, only to have him tense. She stopped next to Val. “Should we sit?” 

For the next three hours, Guzman and Nadia danced around knowing each other. Valerio was extremely good at ignoring the weird tension that had held the room since they all sat down. Nadia wasn’t sure where she should put herself, she never told Val about the man that had entered her life at the moment she was certain she didn’t need anyone but herself; Guzman and her were such a secret that sometimes Nadia was convinced she made it up herself. But when it was just her and her memories she knew what happened between them was real. The heartache that they both experienced was as real as it could be. 

Nadia had made Ander never mention Guzman’s name never again, she couldn’t think about him without getting teary-eyed. She didn’t want to have to explain to everyone why she couldn’t stop feeling the way she did when only a few people knew about it. Slowly but surely, between her second and third year, Nadia started to stop looking for Guzman in the background. Her heart stopped beating that little bit faster at the thought of him standing there watching for her, Nadia knew what she and Guzman had was something that only came around once. She didn’t have any hurtful feelings towards him because she understood why it had to end the way it did. 

But sitting across him at a dinner table, in an environment that was less formal than anything they had ever been in before. It made Nadia want to rewind the time and tell Guzman to fight for them because she wanted to fight for them, she looked at him as he spoke to Val he looked lighter. She had hoped that whatever had happened to him in the five years apart that life had been kind. 

The evening was drawing to a close, Nadia knew when Guzman was getting tired because he would start to play with the ring on his left finger. Before Nadia could ask Guzman if he wanted to go home, Val stood up.

“I have to use the bathroom, will you be okay?” Val leans over to look at Nadia, she nods even if the thought of being alone with Guzman isn’t anything but scary.

They sat in silence for two minutes before Nadia broke it. 

“How have you been?” Nadia asks him, Guzman’s eyes trail over her face before answering. 

“Bit shocked” Guzman let a small smile fall over his face as he continued to look at Nadia. Nadia forgot what it was like to be under his gaze, she felt like he was relearning everything he might have forgotten, Nadia wills her heart to forget about knowing Guzman in a way only she knew him.

“I wanted to tell you,” Nadia said, she’s playing with her glass as they talked. “But Omar said that Ander thought it was best if I didn’t contact you, I didn’t know Val knew you to be honest either.”

“I knew he was dating someone but you never came up in conversation” Guzman answered, he looked off to the side to where Valerio had walked, “Why did you pretend to ignore me?”

“He doesn’t know about you” Nadia cast her eyes down, she won’t look at him as she speaks “I didn’t know how to tell him about you so I never did”

What a heartbreaking conversation, Guzman thought, he was not really sure how to respond to her so he asks what he’s been dying to ask since he walked into the room.

“Are you happy? The question takes Nadia’s breath away, she wasn’t sure what to expect but it certainly wasn't that.

She’s looking at him. 

It takes her a few minutes before responding, “I’m happy” 

Guzman wouldn’t dare tell her how much that broke his fucking heart to hear when there was a conversation in the future about what they should do or shouldn’t do, Guzman won’t let on how much Nadia broke his heart at that moment. He won’t tell her how he wanted nothing more than to cry and tell her he still loved her and never stopped. He doesn’t tell her how much he wanted to wrap her up in his arms and never let her go, but she wasn’t his and she could make her own choices. 

So, he does the only thing he could think of right there and then. He looked at her with a smile on his face as a tell that if she was happy, he’s happy. Both of them fucking breaking inside because life didn’t always work the way they wanted it and sometimes, you have to give up the person you want more than once. 

  
  


_ “Dance with me”  _

_ Nadia looks up from her book, they were in the living room of her residence. Guzman had sneaked in after dark to find Nadia reading, she’s being basked in the warm light from the lamp on the table and Guzman wants nothing more than to dance with her.  _

_ “What?” There is disbelief written all over her face, Guzman can’t help but laugh at her. He put his hand out for her to take. _

_ “Dance with me? I just want to dance with you” Guzman says again as Nadia puts her hand in his reluctantly, he knows she’s sceptical about what he’s asking of her but he needs to just feel her in a way he’s never done before. When she stands, he connects his phone to the Bluetooth speaker that she has. When the soft sounds of violins fill the room, Guzman pulled her closer to his body, he lifts her arms around his neck and places his on her waist; he makes sure that she is comfortable with what they’re doing and when she says she is, they move slowly around the room. They sway more than they actually dance, Nadia has her head resting just over Guzman’s heart. Guzman knows she can hear how fast it’s beating just because she’s closer to him when he hums the lyrics, Nadia pulls back to look at him eyes shining; he looks down at her and kisses her softly.  _

_ Guzman thanks whatever God there is for allowing him to meet her, he thinks if this is all he gets then he’s lived more in a few months than anyone has in years.  _

  
  


“You could have told me,” Guzman said, sitting in Ander’s office when the weekend was over.

“I didn’t know how to” Ander confessed, he was looking at his friend. He noticed how the man opposite him looked tired, he wanted nothing more than to hug him but he knew Guzman was annoyed at him. “You never told me what really happened with Nadia so I assumed you wouldn’t be interested in what happened with her.”

Guzman pauses what he was doing to watch his friend carefully, he realises he never really spoke about what happened all those years ago. He lets out a breath before continuing.

“I  _ didn’t _ really know how to” Guzman is playing with his hands, he’s nervous Ander thinks. “I was there to do a job, protect the Prime Minister and I failed her, you everyone.”

Ander snorted, “How did you fail?”

“The reason I quit was because of that event that Nadia decided to hold” Guzman started, his eyes went glassy as he went down memory lane “I didn’t do the correct checks, that man should have been searched properly but all I could think about was how beautiful Nadia looked as she spoke” 

Ander didn’t speak, he let his friend continue. 

“When that man stood up and threw whatever he did on stage, I panicked and got Nadia out of there as quickly as possible, I didn’t speak to any of the people in my team, I didn’t check in with her staff, I just got Nadia out of there as quickly as possible.” Guzman paused, he looks a little lost before finishing, “I failed because I overreacted, I failed because I ended up falling in love with Nadia because when her Chief of Staff found out, I didn’t answer her question correctly. I fucked up Ander, I made a decision to leave.”

“Guzman” Ander’s voice hard as he moved forward in his chair so Guzman could look at him, “You did nothing wrong” 

Guzman can’t look at Ander, emotions running high. So Ander carried on with what he was saying. 

“All you did was fall in love with a woman” Ander had a soft smile on his face, he’s glad his friend finally told him what happened even if it was five years later. “There’s no crime against that. You can’t be blamed for the way you feel, your heart will what want it wants and who is anyone to stand in the way of that?”

Guzman didn’t think of it that way, he takes a drink of water that Ander handed to him. “DO you think?”

“I know”

“I think I lost her” Guzman sighs, Ander pauses before answering.

“She's her own person Guzman” Ander was speaking softly as if it would stop Guzman from hurting. 

“I know”

“Omar says this is the first time he’s seen her happy in a long time” 

“I wasn’t going to do anything, I promise” Guzman holds his hands up. 

“Guzman, I know you”

“She’s happy Ander” He’s wearing that sad smile he wears when he knows he’s losing something, Ander wants to hug him again. “I won’t get in the way of that. I didn’t then and I won’t do that now.”

  
  


_ Nadia  _ is nervous, she hasn’t been like this for a long time but given what she was about to do she can’t help the butterflies that fill her stomach. Ander had invited her, Valerio, Lu and Polo around for wine and cheese night he had told her from the beginning that Guzman was going to be there and if that would be weird for her than he should let her know, but Nadia couldn’t help but feel excited at the thought of seeing him again. At least she was three days ago, now as she made her way up to the studio apartment that Ander and Omar owned she was nervous. Knocking on the door, she waited for all of five minutes before Ander pulled the door back. He looked at her and frowned,

“No Val?” 

Nadia shook her head, “He’s out with some friends from school” 

“Come on in then” Ander pushed to door open, Nadia walked into the sound of Guzman’s laugh. She already had to fight the smile off her face and the evening hadn’t even started.

“Oh wow,” Nadia heard Omar before she saw him, “The Prime Minister of Spain has graced us on wine and cheese night”

“Not Prime Minister anymore” Nadia quipped back, she walked over to her brother and kissed his cheek. “You’re well?”

“Very”

“Good” Nadia smiled, she looked around the room to see Polo standing with Guzman before she made her way over to him. Polo opened his arms to hug her. 

“It’s been a while,” Polo said as he wrapped Nadia up in a hug.

“It has,” Nadia smiled, she’s glad to see the man with the sharp cheekbones. “Have you been good?”

“You know it” Polo smiles at her, he squeezes her hand before letting go. Nadia is holding her breath as she moves onto Guzman, he’s looking at her with the soft look that makes her want him to run away with her and hide.

“Hi”

“Hello” He replies, there’s a smile on his face. She’s missed seeing him so carefree she’s not sure of the last time she saw him look relaxed.

“You look rested” Nadia observed, she can only concentrate on Guzman everyone else in the room be damned. 

“I am” He confirmed, moving slightly to let Nadia slot into the space beside him by the counter. “Where is Val?”

“Out with old friends”

“Oh yeah,” Guzman said, he’s looking at her again carefully “Does he know I’m here?”

“He knows you know Ander,” Nadia said, head down, “I told him you might be here.”

“Okay?”

“Okay?” Nadia frowned slightly, she turned her body to look at him.

“What do you want me to say?” Guzman argued, bring his head down so they could keep the conversation between them and not involve their friends. 

“Something more than just okay” Nadia argued back, she wasn’t sure why she was getting so frustrated by this conversation. She only wanted to talk to Guzman about life and how he’s been but it's quickly turning into a conversation as it used to when Guzman didn’t agree with what she was about to do. She watched as Guzman looked around the room before answering her.

“Nadia, why are you trying to get me to argue with you?” Guzman called her out and she can feel her face blush with embarrassment, he knew what she was doing and the fact that he still remembers her so well. “I can’t say anything more than okay because if I was to it could lead us into dangerous waters and I don’t have space mentally to argue with you over how I should or shouldn't react to that sentence.”

Nadia can feel shame run through her body because she knows Guzman is right, there is no way she should be looking to create some sort of reaction from him over the fact that her fiance couldn’t be there. She shouldn’t be thinking about a time when Guzman would have argued with her until he was blue in the face about something that he was passionate about and she most certainly shouldn’t be thinking about how he would ask if he could kiss her after every disagreement they had. 

  
  


_ “You’re overthinking” Guzman was shouting again, all Nadia could do was roll her eyes at his comment which she knew would anger him more but she couldn’t give a shit. “You’re making the right decision.” _

_ “Do you have to shout?” Nadia comment as she stood up and walked over to the table with the bottled water on to pour herself a glass. It was going to be a long day.  _

_ “You’re not listening to me” He argued again, Nadia was extremely close to telling him to fuck off. _

_ “Yes because it’s a known fact when a man raises his voice it will get a woman to respond in a way they want”  _

_ “What?” Guzman paused in shock, standing there looking at her with his mouth hanging open. Nadia can’t stop the comment that comes out of her mouth.  _

_ “The more you yell and argue with me about something the less likely I’m going to do it,” Nadia said turning her back to him before adding, “I’m not here to take advice from a man who thinks he knows best just because he is in a position of authority” _

_ There was a brief silence from Guzman, Nadia wonders if maybe she’s pushed him a little too far.  _

_ “Nadia” Nadia can hear the pain in his voice, “I’m not trying to tell you what to do, I just want you to be safe because putting yourself in the firing line is scary to me I don’t want anything to happen to you at all.”  _

_ “Guzman” Nadia squared her shoulders to look at him, “My job is to be in the firing line every day, there is nothing at all you can do about it. I know you don’t like being told no but I think you need to understand that I’m going to do what is best for me. I’m in charge, there are millions of people looking up at me right now to see if I fail or if I win and I need everyone around me to support me.” _

_ Guzman steps forward, he’s looking at her with nothing but love and Nadia can’t help but feel the breath being knocked out of her because she didn’t know it went that deep for him.  _

_ “I’m sorry,” Guzman said, “I didn’t look at it from your point of view.” _

_ “Okay,” Nadia nodded, the tension draining out of her body. “I accept your apology.”  _

_ “Can I kiss you?” Guzman asks her, Nadia felt her eyebrow rise she’s looking at him carefully.  _

_ “You going got do this everytime we argue?”  _

_ “If the argument ends with you in my arms, then yes” Guzman smiled as he stood not an inch away from her.  _

_ “Then, yes, you can kiss me.”  _

  
  


“Nadia” Nadia heard Lu call for her from across the kitchen, Nadia’s attention was pulled away from her memories as she looked over to her old friend. 

“Come sit, it’s wine time” Lu laughed as she held out a glass of wine for her, Nadia walked over to where she was sitting. She turned her head slightly to see Guzman still in the same place she left him, he looked like he was thinking about the past. Nadia knows she’s moved on with her life, of course, she has but she can’t stop thinking about what would have happened if Guzman had of stayed. 

“You have to stop” Lu brought Nadia’s attention back to her, “Don’t look at me like that, you haven’t taken your eyes off Guzman since you’ve gotten here.”

“Yes, I have.”

_ _ Lu gives Nadia a look as if to say cut the bullshit, Nadia sometimes forgets how well Lu knows her. She isn’t her oldest friend for no reason. 

“I can’t help it” Nadia whispered to her, she didn’t want anyone else to hear what they were talking about. “Between seeing him two weeks ago and now in such close proximity, I don’t know what to do.”

“You have a  _ fiance _ ” Lu stressed, she takes ahold of Nadia’s hand “There isn’t anything you can do.”

“It’s Guzman” Nadia eyes filled with tears, Lu quickly cleaned them away. 

“I know sweetheart,” Lu held Nadia’s face in her hand as she spoke, “I know what he means to you, but you can’t let yourself think like that.”

“I can’t stop the ‘what ifs’” Nadia told her if Nadia let herself really think about her feelings she would know there is no time when she didn’t love Guzman even now, “It’s driving me insane.”

“Nadia, Guzman is a thing of the past,” Lu spoke softly trying not to upset her friend, “He’s a past love, it didn’t work out and you’ve moved on.”

Nadia looks over to Guzman, he is stood laughing at something Polo said. He looks better than he did two weeks ago, Nadia tries to take Lu’s advice on letting him go. But looking at him right now, all she could think about was standing in front of him with arms wrapped around her shoulders holding her to his chest as they laughed together.

Suddenly Nadia felt anger pulse through her, she was happy before Guzman entered her life again. She had come to terms with what had happened, accepted it all and moved on with someone who loves her so much that Nadia feels bad because maybe she doesn’t love him as he loved her but she had made it work. Now Guzman is back Nadia can’t help but feel like she’s being played with by a bigger force. 

  
  


Valerio knows there is something up with Nadia, it had been three weeks since they went to bed at the same time. She’s been spending more time in the office working than she has been at home, she doesn’t give him full answers when he asks what's wrong, he can’t help but feel like something big is coming. So that’s why when Nadia walks in their house just after eleven at night, she finds him sitting on their sofa with a glass of whiskey. 

“Val?” She asks cautiously, she takes her coat off as she walks further into the room “What are you still doing up?”

“Wondering when you’ll be home” 

“Val, what is wrong?” Nadia walked in front of him, he’s looking down at his glass “Do you need to talk?” 

Val snorted “Funny thing I think it’s you that needs to talk”

“Excuse me?”

“I’ve been trying to figure out what’s been going on for the past three weeks” Valerio finally looks up at her, Nadia can see hurt written all over his face. “It’s been ever since you went to Ander’s.”

Nadia is holding her breath because she knows what’s coming. She’s not sure if she can give him an answer that he wants. 

“Did something happen there?” 

“No” Nadia answers, they’re both staring at each other; waiting for one to crack. It was Nadia that was the first to break. “Guzman was there.”

Valerio’s eyebrows knitted together, “And? You said Guzman and Ander have been friends for a long time.”

Nadia couldn’t stop her hand from shaking as she tugged slightly on her hijab. 

“Did he try something?” Valerio was about to stand up before Nadia grabbed his arm. 

“No!” She shouted “No nothing like that at all.” 

“Then what is wrong?” Confusion rippled through Valerio’s voice, Nadia took a deep breath. 

“I have known Guzman for years Val” Nadia started, Val sat down as he listened to her. “I never told you about him because it never felt like I had to. But in the first year I was Prime Minister, Guzman was my bodyguard and we fell in love.”

There was silence from the man opposite her, so Nadia continued with her story. 

“I never said anything because I didn’t want to think about him, it took a while to get over him and then I met you and I thought I was over him but then you brought him around here and all of a sudden it was like all the years that had passed didn’t matter.”

Nadia licks her lips, waiting. 

“Are you still in love with him?” Valerio asks her, he has tears in own eyes. Both of them sitting there, hearts aching as they waited for Nadia to answer. 

“I don’t know” Nadia confesses, Valerio sat back against the sofa. “I never allowed myself to think about it.” 

“I think I need to leave” Valerio stood up, pushing past where Nadia was. “I can’t look at you right now.”

“Val”

“No” He shouts, he’s running his hands through his hair. “No, I can’t do this. Not now.”

Nadia feels panic fill her as she watched the man she was supposed to spend the rest of her life with leave. This wasn’t how he was supposed to find out, Nadia never wanted Valerio to find out. In a fit of anger, Nadia texts Ander for Guzman’s address after convincing him to give it to her, she makes her way over. 

She’s pounding on the door before she even realises what she’s doing, Guzman opens the door confusion written all over his face at who would be knocking on his door at almost midnight. Nadia pushes herself past Guzman and into his kitchen. 

“Please enter” Guzman mutter before shutting his front door. Nadia doesn’t even give him a minute before she’s yelling at him. 

“How  _ dare _ you!” Nadia can’t think, she can only shout about how much she’s hurting. “How dare you walk back in my life after  _ five _ years and do this to me! I was fine, I was  _ happy _ . I moved on and I was making a life outside of being a Prime Minister, I had all these ideas and a man who loved me and you walk back into my orbit like nothing is wrong.”

“What are you going on about?” Guzman is still confused, he walked further into the room watching as Nadia ran her hands over her hijab. It’s a midnight blue this time, Guzman notices.

“You!” Nadia yelled she’s got tears in her eyes, “You made the choice to leave five years ago, you never gave us a chance, you decided it was over. You walked out of my home with my heart and you never gave it back once. All I wanted ever since is for you to give it back to me and you never did.”

“Nadia” 

“No” Nadia is sobbing now as she spoke, “Five years have passed, yet I still love you like the day you left.”

The room stills at Nadia's confession. Guzman doesn’t know why she’s here, Nadia is breathing erratically. He goes to speak again and Nadia doesn’t let him. 

“Do you know how often I looked for you in the crowd?” Nadia asks him, Guzman is making his way towards her. “How much I wanted you to explain why you left me like that, you never said why and that’s the worst part.”

Guzman is thrown down memory lane as he thinks about how things ended, why he made the decision he did. 

_ Guzman can’t catch his breath, he’s standing in the room that he’s lived in for just short of a year. He can’t stop thinking about Nadia could have been hurt because he wasn’t paying attention. He let himself daydream about waking up with her in the future that he didn’t even realise there was a suspicious-looking man standing in the corner.  _

_ Stupid, stupid, stupid; is all he can think as he tries to calm himself down. He can’t keep doing this, he concluded, he can’t protect Nadia from the dangers she faces and be in love with her. It’s not fair to her or to him.  _

_ With one final breath, he knows what he has to do. He wipes the tears that have fallen and straightens himself out, he looks around the room knowing it will be the last time he is in there. He’s got his phone to his ear already as he walks towards where Nadia is, he informs Ander of his termination effective immediately. He wants out, to protect the woman he loves. It’s the right thing to do. At least that’s what he convinces himself.  _

“I couldn’t be in love with you and protect you” Guzman shouts, Nadia pulls back at the volume of his voice. “It wasn’t fair.”

“What?”

“I love you, so much” Guzman sighed, he rubs his forehead trying to gather his words. “I was distracted on the day of that event and that’s how that man got in. How was I going to go on trying to protect you when all I could think about was our future?”

Nadia couldn’t process what he was saying, she cocks her head to the side watching him he’s started to pace.

“You were supposed to just be part of my job” Guzman explained, he feels like he has word vomit. “But you had this smile, that took over your face and I couldn’t stop myself from falling in love with you. What hope did I have?”

Nadia lets her tears fall freely now, all this time he thought he just left her standing there because he didn’t want to do this anymore. God, they were both idiots who lacked good communication skills. 

“All I have ever wanted to do since I left that room was hold you and not let you go,” Guzman said, he stopped to look at Nadia properly. “I couldn’t look at anyone else because they didn’t match up to you, none of them made me feel the way you did.”

“Guzman”

“But I didn’t think I would ever see you again,” Guzman’s voice cracked, he wants to hold her again like they did so many times before. “You had every right to move on, to be loved by someone who could love you as you deserved. I took a coward's way out. I gave you up, it will always be the biggest mistake of my life.”

Nadia put her arm on his, Guzman hadn’t noticed her move until she was right in front of him. She’s staring at him, as her hand moves to hold his; their fingers interlock and Nadia places her head on his chest. “Do you remember the night when Omar and I argued about my Baba?” 

“Yeah”

“Do you remember what you said to me?” Nadia asks, her voice muffled slightly from where she kept her head. 

_ “Please don’t be sad” Guzman begged Nadia as she cried. _

_ “I don’t like arguing with Omar” Nadia sobbed, Guzman wraps her up in his arms.  _

_ “You’re siblings, you’re going to argue. It’s just how it goes” Guzman lets out a little chuckle trying to lighten the mood. _

_ “Do you think it makes me a bad person?” Nadia asks softly, tears finally subsided. _

_ Guzman takes a couple of minutes before answering her, “I think you were put in a position that made what would be an easy choice for someone else, impossible for you. It does not make you a bad person. It makes you human. Your choices don’t define who you are. It isn’t a mistake, you had to put yourself first and that’s the healthiest thing you can do for yourself.”  _

_ Nadia doesn’t tell Guzman, but she falls a little bit more for him than she has ever fallen for anyone before. _

  
  


“I don’t think you took a coward’s way out” Nadia starts slowly, she pulls back sniffing so she can look at him. “I think you did what you thought best in a situation that could be easy for anyone else, you put yourself and me first and I get it.”

Guzman rests his forehead against Nadia’s, he knows he’s going to make a difficult choice again but for a moment he closes his eyes and holds her.

“Why are we having this conversation, Nadia?” Guzman asks as he pulls away from her.

“I told Val how I knew you” 

“Okay” Guzman replies, he takes another step away from her. “I think we should stop this,” He’s watching as Nadia shakes her head. “You have a man that loves you, a good life, don’t give that up for me.”

“Guzman” Nadia cries, tears unable to stop. “Please don’t do this.”

“You know it’s the right thing to do.”

“For who?” Nadia shouts, “I love you.”

“I love you”

“Then that’s enough” Nadia sobs, “That’s enough”

“You know it’s not.” Guzman cries as well, “I’ll leave Madrid, but you’ve got a good thing going with Val. He’s a good guy, you deserve someone like him.”

“But I want you” Nadai shakes her head again, she can’t believe this is happening again.

“You have given things that I can’t live without,” Guzman says, he won't look at her. “I will love you forever, please give this a try for me. Please.” Nadia is nodding and Guzman kisses her forehead, he doesn’t regret what he said. Nadia leaves shortly after that, both of them broken-hearted again. 

  
  
  


** _A year later_ **

Nadia finds herself at a private beach. She’s walking down to the shore, she can see a figure in the distance, her heart is beating quicker than it had in a while as her feet hit the sand. She wants to run towards them but she takes her time, letting the sun hit her skin. Once she made it where the figure stood letting the water hit their feet, she takes off her sunglasses to look at him. 

“You found me” Guzman muses as he looks at her, she’s got her dusty pink hijab on that he loves so much. 

“I did” Nadia agreed, looking at him with her big smile. 

“I think” Guzman turns so his body is keeping the sun out of her eyes, “You will always find me.”

“No matter what universe we are in” Nadia says, holding his hand. “There’s not one where I don’t imagine you and I not together.” 

“I love you, sunflower,” Guzman breathes against her cheek.

“I love you.”

  
  


_ Fin.  _


End file.
